Just a little one-shot that I had stuck in my head. I had to get it out before continuing my work on A Second Chance. This one-shot is in no way related to A Second Chance.
If you need inspiration for a sad/beautiful song. Listen to "Life Goes On" by Elisa, or "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday
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I stood in the doorway looking out at the porch. The sight was heartwarming, to say the least. Watching him holding our tiny bundle of joy. She looked so small in his arms. He called her our miracle baby. Now he was on our porch, rocking her gently back and forth. I moved to sit next to him, placing one hand on his knee and thinking about to everything that brought us to this place.
2 years ago
"I don't love you." Even though I knew I was lying, I hoped he would believe me. The look on his face was tortured. I avoided looking in his eyes. I felt my heart being torn to pieces as I lied to him. "I can't love you. I just can't. Please leave." He opened his mouth to say something but then took a step backwards towards the door. I watched as he disappeared into the night. I sunk to my knees in my living room. I sobbed into my hands.
I had just turned away the only man I had ever truly loved. I had cared for others, maybe I thought it was love. But with him, it was the real thing. But I couldn't ask him to risk everything to be with me. I knew that his need to protect me would be his downfall. I couldn't watch that happen.
Calming myself, I stood from the floor and headed for the shower. Tomorrow I would try my hardest to forget all this. Tomorrow I would leave Bon Temps for good. All my things were in boxes in the living room. Amelia agreed to stay and rent the house from me until I sorted out my life.
As I stood under the water of the shower I cried. I cried for myself, for Bill, for Eric, for Alcide, for Sam, and for Quinn. I cried for every man who had ever loved me. I cried for myself, so many loved me, but I couldn't love any of them back.
I'm not sure how long I stood under the water, but by the time I moved, it was cold. I dried myself off, slid on my pajamas and dragged myself to my bedroom. I huddled under my covers for the last time and cried myself to sleep.
1 year & 6 months ago
The past 6 months had dragged by. I spent every day working at a small bar in upstate New York. Amelia had a friend there who rented me her apartment and set me up with a job. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him. Walking around with the sadness in my heart weighed me down.
I tried dating, but no one could make me as happy as he had. It took me months to realize, that I wanted to love him. I wanted him to love me. I wanted to be with him, always. It took me weeks to get up the courage to return to Bon Temps.
I called Amelia to let her know I was coming home. She told me that he had came to the door every night for 5 months. Every night he would sit outside and wait for me to come home. Then one night he stopped coming. My heart hurt when I thought of what could make him stop. Maybe he moved on and no longer loved me. Maybe I should just stay in New York.
Amelia convinced me to come home, even just as a visit. I packed all of my things and returned to Bon Temps the following week.
The second I stepped off the plane Amelia was there. She drove me back home. I took my things inside then went out to my Malibu. Amelia had been taking her for a drive here and there so she didn't sit idle for 6 months. I slid my keys in the ignition and started the car. I pulled out of my driveway, I knew where I was needed.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I got to my destination. He had a beautiful woman pinned to the wall. His lips were pressed to hers like they had once pressed against mine. I choked back a sob and turned to run. He heard me. He called out to me, but I couldn't turn around. I told him I didn't love him. And he had moved on.
"Sookie." I heard him yell out to me again. I pull my car door open and tried to start my car. It sputtered and refused to turn over. I banged on the steering wheel and cried. Just as I was calling Amelia, my car door opened.
"I will take you home." Was all he said to me. Seeing as how Amelia wasn't answering her phone, I had no choice but to take his offer. I stepped out of my car and followed him to his. He looked to the woman he had been kissing and nodded to her. It was a promise, he'd see her later. I felt my heart breaking even worse than it already was.
The ride to my house was silent. When we pulled up in front of my house I stepped out of the car and head for my front door. When I had one hand on the knob, I turned to face him. He was still standing by his car, watching me.
"I came to tell you that I love you. I lied 6 months ago. I do love you." Tears rolled down my face. He looked up at me with anguish.
"But I don't love you anymore." He climbed back in his car and drove off. When he was out of sight I crumpled to the ground outside. Amelia quickly opened the door and pulled me to my feet. That night Amelia laid in bed with me as I sobbed so hard my chest hurt. She hugged me tight and let me cry.
The weeks flew by. I tried calling him, but he would never answer. Finally I decided to go back to New York. Louisiana held nothing for me now. My car had been fixed and now I packed everything I owned and crammed as many boxes as I could into it. The rest would be shipped to me. I found a nice apartment upstate and was able to get my waitress job back.
It was late as I packed my very last box into the car. Amelia had said goodbye earlier in the day. She didn't want to watch me leave for the last time. I locked the door and slid the key under the doormat. I wouldn't need it anymore. Even though the house was still technically mine, I would never live here again.
I stood with my hand on my car, allowing myself to cry a few more tears for my lost love. I had been a fool to lie to him all those months ago. I held my other hand to my chest. I could feel pain lancing through my heart. I was really giving up. This was it. I was finally acknowledging that he would never be mine. Now I knew how he had felt the night I told him I didn't love him.
Somehow I found the strength to open the car door and start my car. The radio blared a sad song. How appropriate.
I cried as the words filled my mind. I laid my head on the steering wheel and let out a heart-retching sob. Finally I found the strength to sit up. I was leaving. I wouldn't torture myself anymore. Just as I opened my eyes I saw him standing there. His body glowing in the reflection of my headlights. I turned off the car and opened the door, slowly climbing out and staring at him.
"I lied." Was all he said to me. My hands were shaking. I just needed to leave. If he wasn't going to love me, I couldn't be near him. Not this close, I just couldn't. But I was frozen in my place as walked over to me. He took me by the shoulders and stared down into my eyes.
"Sookie, I do love you. I lied. I didn't like the way I felt when you told me you didn't love me."
"But I do, I do love you." I looked up at him, pleading for him to believe me.
"I know." He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head against his chest and held him tight. I didn't think I'd ever be back in his arms.
"I love you so much." I whispered into his chest.
"I love you too." He whispered just as softly.
1 year 2 months ago
"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The preacher spoke these words and before he even told us we could kiss, I had my arms around my husband. I could hear our friends laugh at my eagerness.
Our reception went off without a hitch. Even Niall managed to show up. He came to greet me and my husband. He placed one hand on each of us and whispered in another language. A soft glow encompassed both of us before fading. Naill stepped back and smiled at me.
"My child. I have given you a gift." He leaned forward and softly planted a kiss on my forehead. My husband and I looked at each other. Niall just disappeared, leaving us staring.
The rest of the reception went by quickly. By the time it was over, I was ready to go on our honeymoon. He swept me off my feet and carried me to the limo.
Our honeymoon in Italy was life changing. The night we consummated our marriage, we also conceived our daughter.
5 months ago
"You have to push Sookie." I looked up at my husband. Tears were streaked down my face. Dr. Ludwig was between my legs. Urging me to push. She swore I was almost there. I cried out and gripped his hand tighter as I gave one final push. As soon as I pushed I heard a soft cry. My chest started heaving. That was my little girl. My little Lilly.
When I looked up he was holding her, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. Dr. Ludwig had cleaned her up fast and pronounced her a healthy little girl. He sat down next to me, settling Lilly on my lap.
"She needs to be fed." I felt him nudge her towards me.
"Sookie...Sookie." Another nudge.
Present
Suddenly I snapped back to the present. I looked down at my beautiful 5 month old daughter.
"I'm sorry, I was just thinking." I took her from him and gently slid my breast from my shirt, holding her close so she could latch on. Once she was feeding I relaxed and leaned into him.
"About what?"
"What brought us here. Everything that happened."
"It was a long road."
"Yes it was." I yawned and started closing my eyes.
"Let's go inside and get to bed. It's almost dawn anyway." I stood and walked Lilly to her nursery. When she was finished feeding I laid her in her crib and rubbed her stomach until she fell asleep. I tip-toed out of the room and into our bedroom.
I crawled into bed, still fully clothed and wrapped my arms around my husband. I yawned and felt myself starting to drift off.
"I love you Sookie." He whispered.
"I love you too Eric." I whispered back before falling asleep.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Lonely Lust
Pure smut. That's all this is. I have no excuse other than I felt like it. Enjoy.
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"Oh Eric." I moaned. I was raised up on my knees, one hand stroking my clit as I imagined my viking behind me. My chest was pressed against the bed and my face buried in the pillows.
Eric had gone to Vegas for two weeks. Some kind of vampire only meeting. I was going out of my mind with lust. I never realized how much sex we were having, until suddenly we weren't having any. I had managed to hold out the first few nights. But by the 4th night I was going crazy.
I didn't normally consider this a viable source of pleasure, but it was the best I had. I closed my eyes and remembered the goodbye sex we had. His fingers around my waist, his gracious plenty throbbing inside me.
My index and middle finger rubbed my clit in fast circles. I felt the tightening in my abdomen that signaled my release was close. Just as I was about to come I felt a cool tongue slide into my soft warm folds. I screamed out in pleasure. I didn't need to turn around, I knew that tongue. It was Eric.
My orgasm tore through me. I felt myself tightening and throbbing against his tongue. He continued sliding it in and out of me. He pushed my fingers out of the way and replaced them with his own. Once my orgasm had stopped my clit became super sensitive. It almost hurt as he rubbed it, but he wasn't going to let me quit just yet.
He removed his fingers from my clit, but continued licking my folds. He stopped for a brief second to lay on his back, pulling my hips down so I was straddling his face. His hands snaked around my thighs and parted my lower lips. He held me open wide, vulnerable to the assault he was about to make.
His tongue darted out quickly, flicking my clit and then pulling back. I howled in pleasure and held onto my breasts, teasing my nipples by pulling them gently. Eric slowly ran his rigid tongue along the inside of my mound, never touching my aching clit or soaking wet hole. His tongue danced over the area between my clit and my entrance. He pushed his tongue against the underside of my clit and gave it a few rough licks.
He nudged my legs further apart with his shoulders. This simple act left me even more exposed than I was before. I fell forward onto all fours, my hands planted firmly on the bed. I looked under me to watch Eric lift his head and take my clit into his mouth. His lips wrapped around it, sucking gently at first, then becoming more demanding. He started sucking hard on my most sensitive spot. One of his hands moved from around my thigh. He worked two fingers into my hole and started thrusting in time with his urgent sucking. I arched my back and lifted one hand to my breasts. I squeezed and pulled on my nipple, recreating the sensation Eric was creating below.
Eric sucked my clit hard into his mouth and then started with tiny little flicks against it. I spread my legs wider, and he grunted in appreciation. His fingers never relented as he added a third. He alternated between long rough strokes across my clit, and short soft flicks. I was screaming and begging for my release.
Finally he let go of my clit. He pushed on my stomach so I would come back up to my knees. I was still spread wide open for him, but he pulled his hands from inside me and spread my lower lips wide open. He looked up at me and started flicking my clit as fast as his tongue could move.
"Oh, Oh God, Eric, Oh God, YESSSS." I screamed as another orgasm tore through me. My legs tensed and I could feel my hole contracting as he never stopped flicking my clit. Just as my orgasm was winding down he gave me one last suck and then flung me onto my back.
He wasted no time pulling the clothes from his body. He climbed into the bed with me and grabbed my ankles. He pulled my legs straight up against his chest, one foot on either side of his head. He grabbed my hips and pushed his erection into me. I was sobbing with pleasure by this point. I didn't even know if I could go another round, but he was determined to have his release.
He pushed my ankles apart, spreading me open and giving me a view of what he was doing to me. I looked down at him sliding in and out. Every inch of him slowly disappearing inside me and then pulling back out. I reached my hand down, my fingertips lightly stroking him as he pulled out. He grunted and I felt him swelling under my fingers. I knew he was close. I moved my hands and arched my back giving him access to my breasts. He leaned down and with one hand he stroked my clit, bringing me close for the third time tonight. He tilted his head to the side and bit me under my breast. I screamed out in pleasure and pain and came for the third time. I felt him tighten and then relax inside me. Eric had his release right after mine.
He fell to the bed and pulled me too his side.
"Lover, had I known this is what I would come back to. I would have tried harder to shorten my trip."
"I'm just glad your home. I missed you."
"I can tell."
"I love you Eric."
"I love you too Sookie."
Then we both relaxed, and slept like vampires.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh Eric." I moaned. I was raised up on my knees, one hand stroking my clit as I imagined my viking behind me. My chest was pressed against the bed and my face buried in the pillows.
Eric had gone to Vegas for two weeks. Some kind of vampire only meeting. I was going out of my mind with lust. I never realized how much sex we were having, until suddenly we weren't having any. I had managed to hold out the first few nights. But by the 4th night I was going crazy.
I didn't normally consider this a viable source of pleasure, but it was the best I had. I closed my eyes and remembered the goodbye sex we had. His fingers around my waist, his gracious plenty throbbing inside me.
My index and middle finger rubbed my clit in fast circles. I felt the tightening in my abdomen that signaled my release was close. Just as I was about to come I felt a cool tongue slide into my soft warm folds. I screamed out in pleasure. I didn't need to turn around, I knew that tongue. It was Eric.
My orgasm tore through me. I felt myself tightening and throbbing against his tongue. He continued sliding it in and out of me. He pushed my fingers out of the way and replaced them with his own. Once my orgasm had stopped my clit became super sensitive. It almost hurt as he rubbed it, but he wasn't going to let me quit just yet.
He removed his fingers from my clit, but continued licking my folds. He stopped for a brief second to lay on his back, pulling my hips down so I was straddling his face. His hands snaked around my thighs and parted my lower lips. He held me open wide, vulnerable to the assault he was about to make.
His tongue darted out quickly, flicking my clit and then pulling back. I howled in pleasure and held onto my breasts, teasing my nipples by pulling them gently. Eric slowly ran his rigid tongue along the inside of my mound, never touching my aching clit or soaking wet hole. His tongue danced over the area between my clit and my entrance. He pushed his tongue against the underside of my clit and gave it a few rough licks.
He nudged my legs further apart with his shoulders. This simple act left me even more exposed than I was before. I fell forward onto all fours, my hands planted firmly on the bed. I looked under me to watch Eric lift his head and take my clit into his mouth. His lips wrapped around it, sucking gently at first, then becoming more demanding. He started sucking hard on my most sensitive spot. One of his hands moved from around my thigh. He worked two fingers into my hole and started thrusting in time with his urgent sucking. I arched my back and lifted one hand to my breasts. I squeezed and pulled on my nipple, recreating the sensation Eric was creating below.
Eric sucked my clit hard into his mouth and then started with tiny little flicks against it. I spread my legs wider, and he grunted in appreciation. His fingers never relented as he added a third. He alternated between long rough strokes across my clit, and short soft flicks. I was screaming and begging for my release.
Finally he let go of my clit. He pushed on my stomach so I would come back up to my knees. I was still spread wide open for him, but he pulled his hands from inside me and spread my lower lips wide open. He looked up at me and started flicking my clit as fast as his tongue could move.
"Oh, Oh God, Eric, Oh God, YESSSS." I screamed as another orgasm tore through me. My legs tensed and I could feel my hole contracting as he never stopped flicking my clit. Just as my orgasm was winding down he gave me one last suck and then flung me onto my back.
He wasted no time pulling the clothes from his body. He climbed into the bed with me and grabbed my ankles. He pulled my legs straight up against his chest, one foot on either side of his head. He grabbed my hips and pushed his erection into me. I was sobbing with pleasure by this point. I didn't even know if I could go another round, but he was determined to have his release.
He pushed my ankles apart, spreading me open and giving me a view of what he was doing to me. I looked down at him sliding in and out. Every inch of him slowly disappearing inside me and then pulling back out. I reached my hand down, my fingertips lightly stroking him as he pulled out. He grunted and I felt him swelling under my fingers. I knew he was close. I moved my hands and arched my back giving him access to my breasts. He leaned down and with one hand he stroked my clit, bringing me close for the third time tonight. He tilted his head to the side and bit me under my breast. I screamed out in pleasure and pain and came for the third time. I felt him tighten and then relax inside me. Eric had his release right after mine.
He fell to the bed and pulled me too his side.
"Lover, had I known this is what I would come back to. I would have tried harder to shorten my trip."
"I'm just glad your home. I missed you."
"I can tell."
"I love you Eric."
"I love you too Sookie."
Then we both relaxed, and slept like vampires.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Immaturity and Regret: Part 3
Okay. Sorry for the downer part 2. But don't worry. I make it up. This is the last part by the way.
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Eric refused to give up. He would come every night at dark and sit outside on his corvette, watching my house.
Tonight I was on my way home from work. I had a particularly miserable night at work and I just wanted to get home and try to relax. I knew Eric would be sitting there waiting for me. It killed me every time I saw him there. I wanted him so badly, but I knew it would end badly.
When I pulled into my driveway, I saw him sitting there as usual. Tonight made 10 nights since the night I rescinded his invitation. I had to admire his persistence. I climbed out of my car and struggled not to look at him as I walked towards the house.
"Coward." I heard him call out to me. I was in no mood for this tonight. I swung around to face him.
"Coward? Try practical. Loving Bill almost got me killed. Loving you will definitely do the job. If it doesn't kill me, it will kill you. I'm a weakness. Why do you want me?" I watched him stand from the corvette. He closed the space between us in a flash. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. He leaned to my ear and whispered against me. "Damnit, Sookie, I love you, just give us a shot."
He pulled back, but only for a second. His lips descended on mine, seizing my lips in a red hot kiss. He pulled away again. "I" He licked my lips. "Love" He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. "You" He softly nibbled on my bottom lip.
I dropped my purse to the ground and wrapped my arms around him. "I love you too Eric. I'm just scared." I rested my head against his shoulder.
"I'll keep you safe."
"But who will keep you safe."
"We will save each other. Sookie, you've already saved me." He lifted my face so I was looking into his eyes. "You've saved me."
He ran his hands over my cheeks. I could barely remember why I was so scared. All I could feel was love flooding the bond between us. It was the most completely I had felt in months. I gasped a little.
"Eric.... I feel it. I can feel our love." I tapped my heart to show him what I meant.
"Me too." I let Eric sweep me up in his arms. He carried me to the front door and waited for me to invite him. He carried me upstairs to the bathroom and started the water running in my tub.
"Let me take care of you Sookie." I just nodded and held my hands up for him to lift my shirt. He let out a soft hiss when he finally saw the extent of my weight loss. "What have you done to yourself?" He traced his fingers over my ribs. His hands worked their way to my back and released my breasts from my bra.
To my surprise he didn't so much as grope me. He slid his hands back down my side and took off my shoes, pants, and panties. He tapped his finger over the spot where my hip bone was sticking out. He shook his head and gently lifted me into the warm water.
He sat on the edge of the tub and gently dipped my head back into the water. He squeezed some shampoo into his hands and massaged my scalp. It felt perfect, exactly how things should be.
"Eric?"
"Yes, dear one?"
"This is perfect. When I dream, this is how I imagine us." He finished washing my hair and dipped my head back into the water again. He gently scrubbed me all over. Never responding to what I had said. I laid back in the water and let him wash me and care for me. He left me for a second, and came back holding one of his shirts in his hand.
He sat it on the sink and came to lift me from the tub. I stood still as he dried every inch of my body. He towel dried my hair. When he was done he handed me a pair of panties he had brought in with his shirt. I slipped them on, and then slid his shirt over my head. Eric lifted me up and cradled me to his chest as we walked to the kitchen. He deposited me on the kitchen chair before opening my fridge. I saw him pull out milk and then went to the cabinet and pull out some cereal. He found a bowl and made me some cereal. He sat in in front of me and handed me a spoon.
"I need to see you eat." I nodded and dug into my cereal. I was starving. I hadn't realized how little I had been eating. I knew I was losing weight, but I just had no taste for food. But now I was starving. I tore through one bowl of cereal and then he made me another.
Three bowls of cereal later I was done.
"Tomorrow, I would like to take you to dinner." I nodded and held out my arms for him. He embraced me, lifting me up again and carrying me to my bedroom. He laid me down on my bed and curled up next to me.
"Eric, tell me you won't leave. Promise me now, if we decide to try this, promise me you won't hurt me."
"I promise I will not hurt you. Does this mean you would like to try this?"
"Yes." He leaned over and gently kissed me, holding me as if I'd break.
"I love you Sookie."
"I love you too Eric."
~*~
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. My love for Eric never faded, and neither did his love for me. I was now 30, but still looked 26. Regular doses of Eric's blood had seen to that.
I smiled and looked up at my beautiful viking.
"I do." I softly whispered. I was choking back tears of joy.
"I now prenounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Eric wrapped his arms around me and held me close. He pressed his lips to mine and set my body alight with desire for my new husband.
Everyone clapped and we walked back down the aisle. All of our friends were there. We had chosen to get married in a small botanical garden. They were able to have the wedding late in the evening for our vampire guests.
Our reception was such a big blur. After I greeted everyone, we had our first dance. It was so sweet. Eric had chosen the song. Gavin Rossdales "Love Remains the Same." He knew I had played that song on endless loop during those months we weren't together. I would listen to it and dream about this day. At that time I thought they were just dreams, but now my dream had come true.
It wasn't your typical love song, but it fit us perfectly. If anyone didn't like it, they could leave. This was our beautiful moment. I twirled in his arms, gazing up into his eyes. His hands gently caressed my sides. He was so happy when I started eating again and went back up to a healthy size 8. I knew the song was perfectly right. Everything would change, but our love would always remain the same.
After our dance, everyone ate, cake was cut, and soon everyone was leaving. Eric and I were headed to Aspen for our honeymoon. First we had to make a stop at his house to gather our things. I had moved in with him the year before.
When we pulled up to the house in his corvette he ran to my side and scooped me up in his arms. He carried me up the steps and straight to his bedroom. Before I could so much as whimper he had me pinned to the bed. He gently removed my wedding dress and hung it up. The rest of my ensemble didn't fair so well. My bra and panties were ripped from my body. When Eric was done it was like the Tasmanian devil had undressed me. Clothes were everywhere and he was staring down at me with a big grin on his face.
He licked his way down to my breasts and over my stomach, he paused right above my aching mound. "Sookie Northman, you are my woman." And with that he plunged two fingers and his tongue into me. I screamed out and gripped his hair, raising my knees up to give him better access. He grunted appreciatively and resumed lapping at my clit. I whimpered and moan as he added a third finger.
"Oh Eric, Eric.... GUH" I'm sure the last sound wasn't particularly sexy, but it was the only one I could make when he sucked my clit between his teeth and nibbled. I came so hard I nearly passed out.
He worked his way up my body and looked down at me with a smug smile. I was still come down from my orgasm high when he propped the back of my knees on his forearms and slid into me. I arched my back off the bed and clawed at his biceps. He leaned forward, stretching my legs back a little. He moaned as the position opened me for him to plunge deeper. He dropped his head to my breast and sunk his fangs in.
I threw my head back and came again, my inner muscles clenching around his hard length. Just as I was coming down from my second orgasm he came deep inside me. He lifted his head from my breast and practically roared as he spasmed inside me.
"Oh. My. Viking. God." I breathed in between each word. Eric just smiled down at me then kissed the tip of my nose.
He helped me up and into the shower. We rushed around getting ready for our flight to Aspen.
~*~
Our honeymoon was absolutely perfect. We had sex in every position he could think of. I came back to Shreveport happy and sore.
I also came back with a slight aversion to sunlight and the desire to drink blood.
Thats right. I, Sookie Stackhouse, am now a vampire. It was my gift to Eric. And to myself. After spending so many years running from him, and then many years loving him, I just couldn't imagine myself not being with him forever.
I couldn't imagine leaving him alone. I knew how much it hurt the first time. I wouldn't make him suffer.
People ask me all the time if I made the right choice. As we celebrated our 100th wedding anniversary, I was more sure than ever, that I had made the right choice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eric refused to give up. He would come every night at dark and sit outside on his corvette, watching my house.
Tonight I was on my way home from work. I had a particularly miserable night at work and I just wanted to get home and try to relax. I knew Eric would be sitting there waiting for me. It killed me every time I saw him there. I wanted him so badly, but I knew it would end badly.
When I pulled into my driveway, I saw him sitting there as usual. Tonight made 10 nights since the night I rescinded his invitation. I had to admire his persistence. I climbed out of my car and struggled not to look at him as I walked towards the house.
"Coward." I heard him call out to me. I was in no mood for this tonight. I swung around to face him.
"Coward? Try practical. Loving Bill almost got me killed. Loving you will definitely do the job. If it doesn't kill me, it will kill you. I'm a weakness. Why do you want me?" I watched him stand from the corvette. He closed the space between us in a flash. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. He leaned to my ear and whispered against me. "Damnit, Sookie, I love you, just give us a shot."
He pulled back, but only for a second. His lips descended on mine, seizing my lips in a red hot kiss. He pulled away again. "I" He licked my lips. "Love" He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. "You" He softly nibbled on my bottom lip.
I dropped my purse to the ground and wrapped my arms around him. "I love you too Eric. I'm just scared." I rested my head against his shoulder.
"I'll keep you safe."
"But who will keep you safe."
"We will save each other. Sookie, you've already saved me." He lifted my face so I was looking into his eyes. "You've saved me."
He ran his hands over my cheeks. I could barely remember why I was so scared. All I could feel was love flooding the bond between us. It was the most completely I had felt in months. I gasped a little.
"Eric.... I feel it. I can feel our love." I tapped my heart to show him what I meant.
"Me too." I let Eric sweep me up in his arms. He carried me to the front door and waited for me to invite him. He carried me upstairs to the bathroom and started the water running in my tub.
"Let me take care of you Sookie." I just nodded and held my hands up for him to lift my shirt. He let out a soft hiss when he finally saw the extent of my weight loss. "What have you done to yourself?" He traced his fingers over my ribs. His hands worked their way to my back and released my breasts from my bra.
To my surprise he didn't so much as grope me. He slid his hands back down my side and took off my shoes, pants, and panties. He tapped his finger over the spot where my hip bone was sticking out. He shook his head and gently lifted me into the warm water.
He sat on the edge of the tub and gently dipped my head back into the water. He squeezed some shampoo into his hands and massaged my scalp. It felt perfect, exactly how things should be.
"Eric?"
"Yes, dear one?"
"This is perfect. When I dream, this is how I imagine us." He finished washing my hair and dipped my head back into the water again. He gently scrubbed me all over. Never responding to what I had said. I laid back in the water and let him wash me and care for me. He left me for a second, and came back holding one of his shirts in his hand.
He sat it on the sink and came to lift me from the tub. I stood still as he dried every inch of my body. He towel dried my hair. When he was done he handed me a pair of panties he had brought in with his shirt. I slipped them on, and then slid his shirt over my head. Eric lifted me up and cradled me to his chest as we walked to the kitchen. He deposited me on the kitchen chair before opening my fridge. I saw him pull out milk and then went to the cabinet and pull out some cereal. He found a bowl and made me some cereal. He sat in in front of me and handed me a spoon.
"I need to see you eat." I nodded and dug into my cereal. I was starving. I hadn't realized how little I had been eating. I knew I was losing weight, but I just had no taste for food. But now I was starving. I tore through one bowl of cereal and then he made me another.
Three bowls of cereal later I was done.
"Tomorrow, I would like to take you to dinner." I nodded and held out my arms for him. He embraced me, lifting me up again and carrying me to my bedroom. He laid me down on my bed and curled up next to me.
"Eric, tell me you won't leave. Promise me now, if we decide to try this, promise me you won't hurt me."
"I promise I will not hurt you. Does this mean you would like to try this?"
"Yes." He leaned over and gently kissed me, holding me as if I'd break.
"I love you Sookie."
"I love you too Eric."
~*~
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. My love for Eric never faded, and neither did his love for me. I was now 30, but still looked 26. Regular doses of Eric's blood had seen to that.
I smiled and looked up at my beautiful viking.
"I do." I softly whispered. I was choking back tears of joy.
"I now prenounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Eric wrapped his arms around me and held me close. He pressed his lips to mine and set my body alight with desire for my new husband.
Everyone clapped and we walked back down the aisle. All of our friends were there. We had chosen to get married in a small botanical garden. They were able to have the wedding late in the evening for our vampire guests.
Our reception was such a big blur. After I greeted everyone, we had our first dance. It was so sweet. Eric had chosen the song. Gavin Rossdales "Love Remains the Same." He knew I had played that song on endless loop during those months we weren't together. I would listen to it and dream about this day. At that time I thought they were just dreams, but now my dream had come true.
It wasn't your typical love song, but it fit us perfectly. If anyone didn't like it, they could leave. This was our beautiful moment. I twirled in his arms, gazing up into his eyes. His hands gently caressed my sides. He was so happy when I started eating again and went back up to a healthy size 8. I knew the song was perfectly right. Everything would change, but our love would always remain the same.
After our dance, everyone ate, cake was cut, and soon everyone was leaving. Eric and I were headed to Aspen for our honeymoon. First we had to make a stop at his house to gather our things. I had moved in with him the year before.
When we pulled up to the house in his corvette he ran to my side and scooped me up in his arms. He carried me up the steps and straight to his bedroom. Before I could so much as whimper he had me pinned to the bed. He gently removed my wedding dress and hung it up. The rest of my ensemble didn't fair so well. My bra and panties were ripped from my body. When Eric was done it was like the Tasmanian devil had undressed me. Clothes were everywhere and he was staring down at me with a big grin on his face.
He licked his way down to my breasts and over my stomach, he paused right above my aching mound. "Sookie Northman, you are my woman." And with that he plunged two fingers and his tongue into me. I screamed out and gripped his hair, raising my knees up to give him better access. He grunted appreciatively and resumed lapping at my clit. I whimpered and moan as he added a third finger.
"Oh Eric, Eric.... GUH" I'm sure the last sound wasn't particularly sexy, but it was the only one I could make when he sucked my clit between his teeth and nibbled. I came so hard I nearly passed out.
He worked his way up my body and looked down at me with a smug smile. I was still come down from my orgasm high when he propped the back of my knees on his forearms and slid into me. I arched my back off the bed and clawed at his biceps. He leaned forward, stretching my legs back a little. He moaned as the position opened me for him to plunge deeper. He dropped his head to my breast and sunk his fangs in.
I threw my head back and came again, my inner muscles clenching around his hard length. Just as I was coming down from my second orgasm he came deep inside me. He lifted his head from my breast and practically roared as he spasmed inside me.
"Oh. My. Viking. God." I breathed in between each word. Eric just smiled down at me then kissed the tip of my nose.
He helped me up and into the shower. We rushed around getting ready for our flight to Aspen.
~*~
Our honeymoon was absolutely perfect. We had sex in every position he could think of. I came back to Shreveport happy and sore.
I also came back with a slight aversion to sunlight and the desire to drink blood.
Thats right. I, Sookie Stackhouse, am now a vampire. It was my gift to Eric. And to myself. After spending so many years running from him, and then many years loving him, I just couldn't imagine myself not being with him forever.
I couldn't imagine leaving him alone. I knew how much it hurt the first time. I wouldn't make him suffer.
People ask me all the time if I made the right choice. As we celebrated our 100th wedding anniversary, I was more sure than ever, that I had made the right choice.
Immaturity and Regret: Part 2
Okay. So there are going to be 3 parts to this one. This idea is wedged in my head and I need to get it out. So, enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after the club was one big blur. I remember waking up, eating something and crawling up into bed again. Now it was dark, and I still hadn't moved.
When I finally got up to take a shower, Amelia was waiting outside my bedroom door for me.
"I'm sorry I took you out, I shouldn't have-" I stopped her mid-sentence.
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have been so foolish."
"Pam brought this." She held out another one of Eric's black t-shirts. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"I told her that you hadn't taken off the one that you already had. We're just worried about you Sookie." I took the shirt from her hands and walked away, heading for the bathroom.
I turned the shower on and stood under the pulsing water. I didn't even bother moving. I let the water mingle with my tears. I dug my fingers into my scalp, moving my hair away from my face. I took a step back and leaned against the back of the shower. I slid my back down the wall until I was sitting on the floor of the shower.
The water was getting cold and pelting me like small drops of ice. I felt like I could just lay there and slip away. I felt so empty. The weight of my stupidity from last night was caving down on me. Somewhere in my mind I heard Amelia come in. I felt her gently scrubbing me clean. I didn't even have the strength to be embarrassed. She pulled me to my feet and dried me off. I had stopped crying, I think I had ran out of tears.
I turned out to be wrong. When Amelia yanked Eric's shirt over my head and I caught a whiff of his scent, I burst into tears. Amelia tried to calm me by brushing my hair and pulling it up into a pony-tail. I was inconsolable.
She led me back to my room and let me flop down on the bed. She picked up my cell phone and left the room. I could hear her outside my bedroom door, talking to someone in hushed tones. I laid on my stomach and buried my head in my pillows.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I felt cool hands lifting me up. I was off the bed for a second before being laid back down, only this time I was laying on someone's chest. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Eric beneath me.
Tears started sting my eyes. He held his finger to my lips to silence anything I may say. He held me tight against him. My legs slid to straddle his hips, and my body fell limp against his chest. He had one hand tangled in my hair, holding my head to his chest. The other was wrapped around my waist and lightly stroking my side.
I lifted my head up to look at him. "How could you?"
He looked confused.
"How could you, knowing how drunk I was? Knowing how I feel. How could you screw me then let me leave? Why couldn't you call me? Is that why you're hear now, your horny again?" I felt rage building inside me. I was hurt before, but now I was angry. He didn't love me, now he was here trying to seduce me again.
"How could you?" My voice came out as a shriek. I pounded my fists on his chest. "How could you?" I cried it over and over again as I pounded on his chest. Eric didn't even move. He just let me cry and thump my fists against him. Eventually I crumpled out of pure exhaustion. When I fell back against his chest he wrapped his arms back around me. I sobbed against his chest, soaking his shirt in the process.
~*~
I let her throw her fit. She pounded and wailed against me. I sat there, letting her beat on my chest. Nothing could hurt more than the fact she thought I took advantage of her.
I knew she was drunk. But if I thought she would regret what happened, I wouldn't have done it.
Now she was laying, tired and crying against me. She collapsed after her fit. I didn't say anything, just held her. I almost ached to tell her I loved her. But if she didn't know it already, then she never would.
She regretted everything between us. Why should I lay myself bare for her to dismiss again? I never needed a human before, I wouldn't allow myself to be weakened by her.
Once I realized she was asleep I rolled her off me. She was so beautiful laying there in my t-shirt. I looked over at the small stack of my shirts that Pam had given to Amelia. They sat on Sookie's dresser. Something for her to remember me by.
I kissed her forehead and laid a hand on her cheek. Maybe she wouldn't even remember me being here. She would go on with her life as she always had.
The only reason I had shown up tonight was because the witch was concerned. When I really looked down at her, I could see she had lost weight. I sat back down on the edge of the bed. I couldn't bring myself to leave her.
She looked so frail, so beaten down. This human had been through a lot. I doubt she ever gained anything by knowing vampires. I reached my hand out and ran my fingers over her ribs. I could feel them through my shirt.
I knew then, that I had to leave. Staying would only bring her more heartache. I leaned over and placed a very gentle kiss on her lips. Closing my eyes and enjoying the feel, for just a second. I pulled away before I lost my will to leave.
I stood and made my way to the door. I turned around just one last time. "I love you Sookie Stackhouse."
With that said, I was gone.
~*~
Months had passed since the night Eric came to me in my bedroom. Sometimes I thought it was just a dream. But it was too vivid to be my imagination. I remember him standing in the doorway, thinking I was sleeping. He told me he loved me.
The thought still ripped at my heart. Amelia urged me to call him. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't be the weak one anymore. I just put on my fake smile and went on with my life. I doubt anyone knew how I cried myself to sleep every night. I would always snuggle with his t-shirts. I stopped wearing them. That made me look weak. But I kept them all, and every night I'd hold one close to me and cry into it.
I knew everyone worried. Everyone held nothing but pity in their eyes when they saw me. I had to go out and buy clothes that I could scarcely afford to accommodate my new body. I had lost so much weight that I was scaring Amelia. I drifted from a size 10 to a size 4. Even size 4 was getting too big for me.
Pam would stop by occasionally to see me. She was always worried about my weight. She said that Eric wasn't looking much better. She swore that he had stopped feeding on donors and was only drinking True Blood now. I didn't know if I believed that or not.
Tonight was my only night off this week. I had been working 6 days a week to try to give my mind a rest from thoughts of him. Sam wasn't fond of making me work so much, but when I begged him he finally gave in.
I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom. Tonight Pam was coming by to watch movies with me. I was in the middle of getting dressed. I knew I was thin, my ribs showed and I had gotten pale. My eyes were darker, I knew I didn't look well. I pushed the thought from my head and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from my closet. It was the only thing that didn't show the drastic nature of my weight loss.
I sat on the sofa and waited for Pam to show up. I didn't have to wait long. Pam was knocking on the door within a few minutes. When I opened the door she sucked in a deep breath that she didn't need.
"Sookie, your withering away."
"I am not, I've just been working out." She arched an eyebrow up but chose to let me get away with that one. She came in toting a black bag from the video store.
"Would you like a True Blood?"
"No, I've fed already. Have you?"
"If your asking if I've eaten dinner. Then yes, I have."
"Prove it."
"Would you like me to throw it back up?"
"No, that won't be necessary." Pam made her way to the DVD player and stuck in Stepford Wives. I almost laughed, Pam looked like a Stepford wife most days. I sat on one end of the sofa and Pam sat on the other.
She was busy texting on her phone, not even watching the movie.
"I have to leave. I'll come back for the movies tomorrow night. Sorry, Sookie." I stood to walk her to the door. She turned and hugged me. That truly surprised me. When she pulled away she rubbed my sides. "Please take care of yourself. You are not well."
Before I could even reply she was gone. I sunk back on the sofa and turned the movie off. I wasn't in the mood to watch anything. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I tried not to sink into the despair that was so normal for me. I almost fell asleep, until someone was knocking on my door. I figured it was Pam coming back for something she left.
When I open the door I was stunned to see Eric standing there. Pam was right, he did look bad. He looked ragged, not his normal impeccable self. His hair was a mess, his shirt was rumpled and he was paler than normal.
"Eric..." I bit my lip to keep from crying. I tried not to cry and throw myself at him. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. All the pain from all the months he was gone came crashing down on me.
~*~
It almost broke me to hear her say my name. Pam was right when she texted me, Sookie looked sick.
"Come in." Even her voice sounded weak. She stepped back to let me. I crossed into her home and stopped to look down at her. I reached out slowly to touch her cheek. Her face was sunken in and her eyes darker. I let my hand slide down to her ribs. I squeezed my eyes shut tight when I felt the bone protruding from her once soft supple skin. She looked pale, like she hadn't seen the sun in months.
I could see that her jeans were too big on her, and the t-shirt did very little to hide how much weight she had lost. I was cursing myself for ever leaving her. I thought she would be better without me. I thought I was doing what was best. When I would feel her despair I would push it away, hoping she would be okay. I should have came to her sooner. Now she was wasting away.
"Would you like a True Blood?" She gave me her fake 'I'm okay' smile. It looked misplaced on her beautiful face. I longed to see her real smile. I couldn't even answer her. I just shook my head no. I reached out and took her hand. I backed her over to the sofa and sat her down. I kneeled down and softly pushed her legs open so I could kneel between them.
I layed my head on her chest and wrapped my arms around her. I had refused to let myself miss her, but having her this close reminded me of my love for her. I just wanted to hold her, and care for her.
I listened to her heartbeat through her chest. I felt her hand slide up my back and run over the back of my head. For the first time in a long time I felt the urge to cry. Years of being hardened to the world, only to be brought to tears by a frail woman.
"Eric, I was awake that night. When you left for the last time. I heard you tell me you loved me."
I was stunned. She heard me and didn't bother to offer me a response. I looked up to her. Tears rolled down her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this. But Eric, I love you too. I just don't know how this could ever work."
"I don't either. But it's killing us both by not trying"
~*~
The offer hung heavy in the air. Eric wanted to try a relationship. I wanted to throw myself against him and beg him to stay with me forever. But my mind wouldn't let me. This was the most horrible form of torture. We were so in love, but we both knew it wouldn't work. Our relationship would be death of one, or both of us.
It took every last bit of strength I had in me to say what I said next. "I can't do this Eric. You have to go."
He pulled back like he'd been slapped. "You're serious?"
"Yes, please go. Eric, I love you. But this relationship will be the death of you." I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his forehead. "I'm so sorry." Tears were streaming down my face.
"Eric, I rescind your invitation." I watched as he stood and left my house. I threw myself on the sofa and cried. I knew I'd never see him again. But at least he wouldn't die because of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day after the club was one big blur. I remember waking up, eating something and crawling up into bed again. Now it was dark, and I still hadn't moved.
When I finally got up to take a shower, Amelia was waiting outside my bedroom door for me.
"I'm sorry I took you out, I shouldn't have-" I stopped her mid-sentence.
"It's not your fault. I shouldn't have been so foolish."
"Pam brought this." She held out another one of Eric's black t-shirts. Tears welled up in my eyes.
"I told her that you hadn't taken off the one that you already had. We're just worried about you Sookie." I took the shirt from her hands and walked away, heading for the bathroom.
I turned the shower on and stood under the pulsing water. I didn't even bother moving. I let the water mingle with my tears. I dug my fingers into my scalp, moving my hair away from my face. I took a step back and leaned against the back of the shower. I slid my back down the wall until I was sitting on the floor of the shower.
The water was getting cold and pelting me like small drops of ice. I felt like I could just lay there and slip away. I felt so empty. The weight of my stupidity from last night was caving down on me. Somewhere in my mind I heard Amelia come in. I felt her gently scrubbing me clean. I didn't even have the strength to be embarrassed. She pulled me to my feet and dried me off. I had stopped crying, I think I had ran out of tears.
I turned out to be wrong. When Amelia yanked Eric's shirt over my head and I caught a whiff of his scent, I burst into tears. Amelia tried to calm me by brushing my hair and pulling it up into a pony-tail. I was inconsolable.
She led me back to my room and let me flop down on the bed. She picked up my cell phone and left the room. I could hear her outside my bedroom door, talking to someone in hushed tones. I laid on my stomach and buried my head in my pillows.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I felt cool hands lifting me up. I was off the bed for a second before being laid back down, only this time I was laying on someone's chest. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Eric beneath me.
Tears started sting my eyes. He held his finger to my lips to silence anything I may say. He held me tight against him. My legs slid to straddle his hips, and my body fell limp against his chest. He had one hand tangled in my hair, holding my head to his chest. The other was wrapped around my waist and lightly stroking my side.
I lifted my head up to look at him. "How could you?"
He looked confused.
"How could you, knowing how drunk I was? Knowing how I feel. How could you screw me then let me leave? Why couldn't you call me? Is that why you're hear now, your horny again?" I felt rage building inside me. I was hurt before, but now I was angry. He didn't love me, now he was here trying to seduce me again.
"How could you?" My voice came out as a shriek. I pounded my fists on his chest. "How could you?" I cried it over and over again as I pounded on his chest. Eric didn't even move. He just let me cry and thump my fists against him. Eventually I crumpled out of pure exhaustion. When I fell back against his chest he wrapped his arms back around me. I sobbed against his chest, soaking his shirt in the process.
~*~
I let her throw her fit. She pounded and wailed against me. I sat there, letting her beat on my chest. Nothing could hurt more than the fact she thought I took advantage of her.
I knew she was drunk. But if I thought she would regret what happened, I wouldn't have done it.
Now she was laying, tired and crying against me. She collapsed after her fit. I didn't say anything, just held her. I almost ached to tell her I loved her. But if she didn't know it already, then she never would.
She regretted everything between us. Why should I lay myself bare for her to dismiss again? I never needed a human before, I wouldn't allow myself to be weakened by her.
Once I realized she was asleep I rolled her off me. She was so beautiful laying there in my t-shirt. I looked over at the small stack of my shirts that Pam had given to Amelia. They sat on Sookie's dresser. Something for her to remember me by.
I kissed her forehead and laid a hand on her cheek. Maybe she wouldn't even remember me being here. She would go on with her life as she always had.
The only reason I had shown up tonight was because the witch was concerned. When I really looked down at her, I could see she had lost weight. I sat back down on the edge of the bed. I couldn't bring myself to leave her.
She looked so frail, so beaten down. This human had been through a lot. I doubt she ever gained anything by knowing vampires. I reached my hand out and ran my fingers over her ribs. I could feel them through my shirt.
I knew then, that I had to leave. Staying would only bring her more heartache. I leaned over and placed a very gentle kiss on her lips. Closing my eyes and enjoying the feel, for just a second. I pulled away before I lost my will to leave.
I stood and made my way to the door. I turned around just one last time. "I love you Sookie Stackhouse."
With that said, I was gone.
~*~
Months had passed since the night Eric came to me in my bedroom. Sometimes I thought it was just a dream. But it was too vivid to be my imagination. I remember him standing in the doorway, thinking I was sleeping. He told me he loved me.
The thought still ripped at my heart. Amelia urged me to call him. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't be the weak one anymore. I just put on my fake smile and went on with my life. I doubt anyone knew how I cried myself to sleep every night. I would always snuggle with his t-shirts. I stopped wearing them. That made me look weak. But I kept them all, and every night I'd hold one close to me and cry into it.
I knew everyone worried. Everyone held nothing but pity in their eyes when they saw me. I had to go out and buy clothes that I could scarcely afford to accommodate my new body. I had lost so much weight that I was scaring Amelia. I drifted from a size 10 to a size 4. Even size 4 was getting too big for me.
Pam would stop by occasionally to see me. She was always worried about my weight. She said that Eric wasn't looking much better. She swore that he had stopped feeding on donors and was only drinking True Blood now. I didn't know if I believed that or not.
Tonight was my only night off this week. I had been working 6 days a week to try to give my mind a rest from thoughts of him. Sam wasn't fond of making me work so much, but when I begged him he finally gave in.
I stood in front of the mirror in my bedroom. Tonight Pam was coming by to watch movies with me. I was in the middle of getting dressed. I knew I was thin, my ribs showed and I had gotten pale. My eyes were darker, I knew I didn't look well. I pushed the thought from my head and grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from my closet. It was the only thing that didn't show the drastic nature of my weight loss.
I sat on the sofa and waited for Pam to show up. I didn't have to wait long. Pam was knocking on the door within a few minutes. When I opened the door she sucked in a deep breath that she didn't need.
"Sookie, your withering away."
"I am not, I've just been working out." She arched an eyebrow up but chose to let me get away with that one. She came in toting a black bag from the video store.
"Would you like a True Blood?"
"No, I've fed already. Have you?"
"If your asking if I've eaten dinner. Then yes, I have."
"Prove it."
"Would you like me to throw it back up?"
"No, that won't be necessary." Pam made her way to the DVD player and stuck in Stepford Wives. I almost laughed, Pam looked like a Stepford wife most days. I sat on one end of the sofa and Pam sat on the other.
She was busy texting on her phone, not even watching the movie.
"I have to leave. I'll come back for the movies tomorrow night. Sorry, Sookie." I stood to walk her to the door. She turned and hugged me. That truly surprised me. When she pulled away she rubbed my sides. "Please take care of yourself. You are not well."
Before I could even reply she was gone. I sunk back on the sofa and turned the movie off. I wasn't in the mood to watch anything. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I tried not to sink into the despair that was so normal for me. I almost fell asleep, until someone was knocking on my door. I figured it was Pam coming back for something she left.
When I open the door I was stunned to see Eric standing there. Pam was right, he did look bad. He looked ragged, not his normal impeccable self. His hair was a mess, his shirt was rumpled and he was paler than normal.
"Eric..." I bit my lip to keep from crying. I tried not to cry and throw myself at him. I could feel my heart breaking all over again. All the pain from all the months he was gone came crashing down on me.
~*~
It almost broke me to hear her say my name. Pam was right when she texted me, Sookie looked sick.
"Come in." Even her voice sounded weak. She stepped back to let me. I crossed into her home and stopped to look down at her. I reached out slowly to touch her cheek. Her face was sunken in and her eyes darker. I let my hand slide down to her ribs. I squeezed my eyes shut tight when I felt the bone protruding from her once soft supple skin. She looked pale, like she hadn't seen the sun in months.
I could see that her jeans were too big on her, and the t-shirt did very little to hide how much weight she had lost. I was cursing myself for ever leaving her. I thought she would be better without me. I thought I was doing what was best. When I would feel her despair I would push it away, hoping she would be okay. I should have came to her sooner. Now she was wasting away.
"Would you like a True Blood?" She gave me her fake 'I'm okay' smile. It looked misplaced on her beautiful face. I longed to see her real smile. I couldn't even answer her. I just shook my head no. I reached out and took her hand. I backed her over to the sofa and sat her down. I kneeled down and softly pushed her legs open so I could kneel between them.
I layed my head on her chest and wrapped my arms around her. I had refused to let myself miss her, but having her this close reminded me of my love for her. I just wanted to hold her, and care for her.
I listened to her heartbeat through her chest. I felt her hand slide up my back and run over the back of my head. For the first time in a long time I felt the urge to cry. Years of being hardened to the world, only to be brought to tears by a frail woman.
"Eric, I was awake that night. When you left for the last time. I heard you tell me you loved me."
I was stunned. She heard me and didn't bother to offer me a response. I looked up to her. Tears rolled down her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this. But Eric, I love you too. I just don't know how this could ever work."
"I don't either. But it's killing us both by not trying"
~*~
The offer hung heavy in the air. Eric wanted to try a relationship. I wanted to throw myself against him and beg him to stay with me forever. But my mind wouldn't let me. This was the most horrible form of torture. We were so in love, but we both knew it wouldn't work. Our relationship would be death of one, or both of us.
It took every last bit of strength I had in me to say what I said next. "I can't do this Eric. You have to go."
He pulled back like he'd been slapped. "You're serious?"
"Yes, please go. Eric, I love you. But this relationship will be the death of you." I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his forehead. "I'm so sorry." Tears were streaming down my face.
"Eric, I rescind your invitation." I watched as he stood and left my house. I threw myself on the sofa and cried. I knew I'd never see him again. But at least he wouldn't die because of me.
Immaturity and Regret
Okay. A little song fic. I'm bored, and the music has inspired me once again. Each section was inspired by a different song. This will switch back and forth between Sookie & Eric's POV. I'll mark it clearly and notate the song inspiration for each section. Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sookie (Taylor Swift's "You're Not Sorry")
Months without Eric had made me angry and bitter. After he came to tell me he was offering me the formal protection of the King, I hadn't saw him again. No phone call, no e-mail, no text, nada. Well I was sick of it. Amelia was going out tonight with some of her visiting friends from New Orleans. She invited me along. I had initially declined, but I had no reason not to go.
Now I stood staring into the bathroom mirror. I was wearing a pair of tight, low-rise, dark blue jeans. The top Amelia had loaned me could barely be considered a shirt. The front was a shiny black material. The back, well, what back? It tied behind my neck with two thin spaghetti straps, and then tied the same way around the middle of my back.
My make-up was much darker than usual. My lips were a deep shade of red, my eyes were smokey. I left my hair down and curled it. All in all, I looked good. Too bad Eric is going to miss this.
Okay, I needed to stop thinking about him. We weren't evening going to Fangtasia. That was my only request. Instead we were going to some other trendy club in Shreveport.
"Sookie, you look hot girl." Amelia was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
"You like?"
"Yeah, how are the ladies?"
"It feels weird not wearing a bra." The shirt obviously couldn't handle a bra. Amelia had produced a pair of what she called pasties. They just covered my nipple, I might has well not have worn anything. The were cute, black and flower shaped. "I can't believe you talked me into wearing this."
"You look hot. Get your shoes on." Amelia dangled a pair of black stiletto heels from her fingers. She had spent all week showing me how to walk and dance in them. I was getting to be a pro. I slide them on and suddenly I was towering over Amelia. I looked down, the tips of the shoes just barely peeked out from under the wider leg of my jeans.
"I have to finish getting ready." Amelia turned and went back to her room. I went back to the mirror. My heart was heavy. I looked great, I felt sexy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't missing Eric. It was obvious by the look in my eyes that I was hurting. I was hurting like Jane at Merlotte's who drank her pain away. I knew that was what tonight was. I would go to the club, have some drinks, and try to forget the loss of Eric. He was my sometimes lover, but he never left my heart.
The night I realized I loved him almost broke me. It had only been two weeks since we had talked. I had spent all night in bed crying over him. Then I realized I loved him, and that made it worse.
He didn't love me, and he wasn't even sorry about ignoring me. I should have known falling for him would only bring me pain. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears. Thankfully Amelia appeared next to me.
"Time to go Sook." She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me from the house. I managed to slip my ID and some cash into my pocket before being pulled from the house. I left my cell phone, no one called anyway.
Amelia shoved me into the waiting SUV. Inside was Amelia's two friends, and a very recognizable face.
PAM?!?! Oh god, what was she doing here?
"Hi, Pam. What's up?" I tried to stay calm, if she was here, then Eric knew where I was.
"Nothing. Just enjoying a night out like you." She flashed me a wicked grin. I knew I was in trouble.
I leaned my head back against the head rest and tried to pretend that I wouldn't end up regretting tonight. Tonight, I would make Eric sorry that he ever chose to ignore me. I wasn't even going to pretend that he wouldn't be there. I knew Pam told him. I could tell by the look on her face. To be honest, that had been my plan from the start. Even before I knew Eric would be there, I planned on dressing hot and letting loose. If Eric got to see it, then it was all the better.
If he wasn't sorry, why should I be?
~*~
Eric (All American Reject's "Gives you Hell")
I slammed my phone down on my desk. Pam just called to inform me that my bonded had plans to go party it up at some over-priced trendy club. The witch was dragging her out to forget about me.
It seemed she already had done that anyway. Occasionally, I thought I would feel her love through the bond, but I could never be sure. I was always the one doing the chasing. For the first time in 1000 years I was courting someone. That damned telepath had me wrapped around her finger and she knew it.
I knew I wanted her, but did she want me? The answer to that was clear when she didn't call me after I offered her formal protection. I had made up my mind to let her come to me. And she didn't, she didn't even bother a call.
Tonight she'd regret that. I was going to be at that stupid club, and I'd make her regret her decision to ignore me. I sure hoped she was enjoying her life without me.
Even more, I hoped that seeing me would give her hell. Make her realize how foolish she'd been. I had no illusions of her running into my arms. She was too strong willed for that. She'd choke it down and let it consume her. Maybe one day she'd come to her senses.
I pulled on a pair of fitted blue jeans. She loved my ass in them. I didn't even bother with boxers. I pulled the tightest black tank top out of my closet that I could find. I'd leave her drooling. I knew what she liked. I wasn't stupid. She'd be dying to sink her nails into my arms. Maybe, if she was a good girl, I'd let her.
I tugged on a pair of black boots. I left my hair long, running a comb through it quickly. She loved my hair. I'd make sure that she was sorry.
My corvette purred to life when I turned the key.
Tonight, I was going to give that damned infuriating telepath some hell.
~*~
Sookie (Beyonce's "Single Ladies")
The music in the club was thumping. I was already feeling the effects of my 3 drinks. I was dancing with some good looking guy. He wasn't as hot as Eric, but he'd do for a dance or two. His hand gripped my hips as I pressed my bottom against him. Pam was looking at me with amusement, right before her eyes went straight past me. I immediately turned around, never stopping my hips from swaying. My eyes focused on Eric's. A look of pure jealousy and rage came across his features before he calmed himself. I offered him a little smile.
My dance partner didn't seem to be in any immediate danger so I continued dancing with him. When the song ended another one immediately started. I almost laughed when Beyonce's "Single Ladies" came on. The guy I was dancing with gave me a look but didn't bother to question my sudden smile. I leaned into the guy, propping my leg up on his hip. His hand held under my thigh as I rocked seductively against him.
Amelia came up to me with another drink. She tried to pry me away, instead I grabbed the gin & tonice, downed it in one swallow and handed the empty glass back to her. The freed inhibitions were convincing me that drinking could be fun sometimes.
I leaned into my dance partner and over his shoulder mouthed the words to the song. I knew Eric could read my lips.
Acting up, drink in my cup, I can care less what you think.
I need no permission. Did I mention? Don't pay him any attention.
Cause you had your turn. And now you're gonna learn, what it really feels like to miss me.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
Don't be mad once you see that he wants it.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
I smiled while watching Eric struggle with his urge to come grab me. Instead he grabbed the closest girl to him. He didn't have to reach far, girls flocked to him when he came in. Some small brunette was grinding herself against his leg. I almost laughed, he wasn't even looking at her. His hands held her hips, but I could tell he was thinking of me.
I turned my head a bit and flicked my dance partners with my ear with my tongue. Eric arched his eyebrow and reached down to grab the girls bottom.
~*~
Sookie (Savage Ft. Soulja Boy "Swing")
The song changed to something with a hard driving bass line. I turned my back to the guy I was dancing with. I almost felt bad I didn't even know his name and I was using him as a foreplay prop. Becuase this is what it was. Foreplay. Eric and I were going to end up having sex tonight. It was just a game to see who would break first.
I was determined not to be the first. But first thing is first.
"What's your name?" I yelled to the guy dancing with me.
"Chris."
"Thanks. I'm Sookie." I turned back around, arching my back against him. At least I knew his name now. I pressed my bottom against him and writhed up and down him. I risked a glance at Eric. His fangs had run down and his eyes were no longer ice blue, they were so dark they were almost black. The little brunette was shaking herself against him. He was barely interacting with her. I could tell I'd win this one.
I bent forward and let Chris run his hands down my sides and grip onto my ass. When he grabbed my ass I jumped a bit and winked at Eric.
Pam had moved into my line of sight, along with Amelia. They were looking back and forth from me to Eric. It was obvious to everyone what was going on. My eyes went back to Eric. I held his gaze before slipping my tongue out to lick my bottom lip. I stood up straighter, still writhing against Chris. I let my hands roam over my hips, then up my stomach. I ran them over the sides of my breasts and then up my neck. I tangled my fingers in my hair and tugged softly. I let out a very soft moan and parted my lips. The thoughts running through my dance partners mind were filthy to say the least. It was only driving me to act a little crazier in my attempt to make Eric squirm.
I guess my soft moans was I writhed and tugged my hair did it. Before the brunette knew what hit her, she was being pushed aside, and Eric was coming for me.
~*~
Eric (Theory of a Deadman "Bad Girlfriend")
I pushed the slutty brunette out of my way. I was standing in front of Sookie before the jerk she was dancing with could blink. He looked terrified and he should be. Sookie had a smile of self-satisfaction written clear across her face. She was smug, and to be truthful, she had every right to be. She broke me, I couldn't stand watching her grind herself on anyone but me.
"Hello Eric." My name sounded so sexy coming from her sweet drunk lips. I could tell she was drunk when I first walked in. She would never behave this way without liquid courage. I didn't even respond, I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to me.
The guy she was with just let her go. Smart move on his part. She wrapped her arms around me and wiggled her hips against me. I was already hard from watching her little show, but now I was about to explode. I started pulling her to the door, Pam tossed me the keys to her SUV as I left.
When I got Sookie out to Pam's SUV I opened the back door and pushed her in. Climbing in behind her. She crawled on my lap and thrust her tongue into my mouth. I pushed her top up over her breasts and started pinching her nipples through the thin piece of fabric stuck to them. She arched her back and screamed out. I was in no mood to be gentle with her. She would never know it, but I hadn't had sex with anyone since Rhodes.
I worked my hands down to her hips and unbuttoned her jeans. I shoved her jeans and thongs down to her ankles. I pushed her off my lap and put her on her knees on the seat. I unzipped my pants, freeing my erection. I kneeled on the seat behind her, and without so much as a word I was buried in her. I knew she was so drunk she wouldn't feel too much pain.
That didn't stop her from screaming out and pounding her fist on the seat.
"Fuck YESSSS" She practically slurred the words. I was starting to like drunk Sookie. The booze was giving her the courage to drop the southern belle act and let herself go crazy. I gripped her hair and started pounding hard into her. She was so tight around me that I knew it had been a long time since anyone else had touched her. I knew the tiger had, I wish I could kill him for that. No, matter, I was fucking her senseless now. Tomorrow we would talk, and she would be mine. I felt her climax approaching. To my surprise she pulled off of me and turned around, pushing me back down onto seat. She kicked off her jeans and panties, then straddled my lap. She slid herself down onto me and started rocking herself against me.
I grabbed her hips and moved her faster on top of me. She reached out and grabbed a handful of my hair. She yanked me to her breast.
"Bite me Eric. Do it now." That was all the invitation I needed. I sunk my fangs into the side of her breasts. That damned fabric was blocking her sweet nipples. She screamed out and bucked harder against me. She came with such force that it spurred my own climax. She rocked against me slowly, I could hear her panting.
~*~
Sookie (back to Taylor Swift's "You're Not Sorry")
Once the high of the orgasm had left me, I came crashing back down to earth. I had just had sex with Eric in the back of Pam's SUV. My eyes went wide. The booze induced haze was lifting and I was regretting my actions. I quickly slid my pants and underwear back on before climbing out of the SUV.
"Eric. I'm sorry. I was, or am, drunk. That was so stupid of me." I turned and ran back into the club. I just wanted to go home. I left Eric standing outside looking after me.
I managed to convince Amelia to take me home. That night I laid on my bed. Crying my eyes out. How could I have been so stupid?
I slipped out of my clothes and showered. When I walked into my bedroom I opened the top drawer of my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt of Eric's that I still had. I slipped it over my head and fell into bed. Crying and utterly ashamed of myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sookie (Taylor Swift's "You're Not Sorry")
Months without Eric had made me angry and bitter. After he came to tell me he was offering me the formal protection of the King, I hadn't saw him again. No phone call, no e-mail, no text, nada. Well I was sick of it. Amelia was going out tonight with some of her visiting friends from New Orleans. She invited me along. I had initially declined, but I had no reason not to go.
Now I stood staring into the bathroom mirror. I was wearing a pair of tight, low-rise, dark blue jeans. The top Amelia had loaned me could barely be considered a shirt. The front was a shiny black material. The back, well, what back? It tied behind my neck with two thin spaghetti straps, and then tied the same way around the middle of my back.
My make-up was much darker than usual. My lips were a deep shade of red, my eyes were smokey. I left my hair down and curled it. All in all, I looked good. Too bad Eric is going to miss this.
Okay, I needed to stop thinking about him. We weren't evening going to Fangtasia. That was my only request. Instead we were going to some other trendy club in Shreveport.
"Sookie, you look hot girl." Amelia was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.
"You like?"
"Yeah, how are the ladies?"
"It feels weird not wearing a bra." The shirt obviously couldn't handle a bra. Amelia had produced a pair of what she called pasties. They just covered my nipple, I might has well not have worn anything. The were cute, black and flower shaped. "I can't believe you talked me into wearing this."
"You look hot. Get your shoes on." Amelia dangled a pair of black stiletto heels from her fingers. She had spent all week showing me how to walk and dance in them. I was getting to be a pro. I slide them on and suddenly I was towering over Amelia. I looked down, the tips of the shoes just barely peeked out from under the wider leg of my jeans.
"I have to finish getting ready." Amelia turned and went back to her room. I went back to the mirror. My heart was heavy. I looked great, I felt sexy, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't missing Eric. It was obvious by the look in my eyes that I was hurting. I was hurting like Jane at Merlotte's who drank her pain away. I knew that was what tonight was. I would go to the club, have some drinks, and try to forget the loss of Eric. He was my sometimes lover, but he never left my heart.
The night I realized I loved him almost broke me. It had only been two weeks since we had talked. I had spent all night in bed crying over him. Then I realized I loved him, and that made it worse.
He didn't love me, and he wasn't even sorry about ignoring me. I should have known falling for him would only bring me pain. I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears. Thankfully Amelia appeared next to me.
"Time to go Sook." She grabbed my hand and practically dragged me from the house. I managed to slip my ID and some cash into my pocket before being pulled from the house. I left my cell phone, no one called anyway.
Amelia shoved me into the waiting SUV. Inside was Amelia's two friends, and a very recognizable face.
PAM?!?! Oh god, what was she doing here?
"Hi, Pam. What's up?" I tried to stay calm, if she was here, then Eric knew where I was.
"Nothing. Just enjoying a night out like you." She flashed me a wicked grin. I knew I was in trouble.
I leaned my head back against the head rest and tried to pretend that I wouldn't end up regretting tonight. Tonight, I would make Eric sorry that he ever chose to ignore me. I wasn't even going to pretend that he wouldn't be there. I knew Pam told him. I could tell by the look on her face. To be honest, that had been my plan from the start. Even before I knew Eric would be there, I planned on dressing hot and letting loose. If Eric got to see it, then it was all the better.
If he wasn't sorry, why should I be?
~*~
Eric (All American Reject's "Gives you Hell")
I slammed my phone down on my desk. Pam just called to inform me that my bonded had plans to go party it up at some over-priced trendy club. The witch was dragging her out to forget about me.
It seemed she already had done that anyway. Occasionally, I thought I would feel her love through the bond, but I could never be sure. I was always the one doing the chasing. For the first time in 1000 years I was courting someone. That damned telepath had me wrapped around her finger and she knew it.
I knew I wanted her, but did she want me? The answer to that was clear when she didn't call me after I offered her formal protection. I had made up my mind to let her come to me. And she didn't, she didn't even bother a call.
Tonight she'd regret that. I was going to be at that stupid club, and I'd make her regret her decision to ignore me. I sure hoped she was enjoying her life without me.
Even more, I hoped that seeing me would give her hell. Make her realize how foolish she'd been. I had no illusions of her running into my arms. She was too strong willed for that. She'd choke it down and let it consume her. Maybe one day she'd come to her senses.
I pulled on a pair of fitted blue jeans. She loved my ass in them. I didn't even bother with boxers. I pulled the tightest black tank top out of my closet that I could find. I'd leave her drooling. I knew what she liked. I wasn't stupid. She'd be dying to sink her nails into my arms. Maybe, if she was a good girl, I'd let her.
I tugged on a pair of black boots. I left my hair long, running a comb through it quickly. She loved my hair. I'd make sure that she was sorry.
My corvette purred to life when I turned the key.
Tonight, I was going to give that damned infuriating telepath some hell.
~*~
Sookie (Beyonce's "Single Ladies")
The music in the club was thumping. I was already feeling the effects of my 3 drinks. I was dancing with some good looking guy. He wasn't as hot as Eric, but he'd do for a dance or two. His hand gripped my hips as I pressed my bottom against him. Pam was looking at me with amusement, right before her eyes went straight past me. I immediately turned around, never stopping my hips from swaying. My eyes focused on Eric's. A look of pure jealousy and rage came across his features before he calmed himself. I offered him a little smile.
My dance partner didn't seem to be in any immediate danger so I continued dancing with him. When the song ended another one immediately started. I almost laughed when Beyonce's "Single Ladies" came on. The guy I was dancing with gave me a look but didn't bother to question my sudden smile. I leaned into the guy, propping my leg up on his hip. His hand held under my thigh as I rocked seductively against him.
Amelia came up to me with another drink. She tried to pry me away, instead I grabbed the gin & tonice, downed it in one swallow and handed the empty glass back to her. The freed inhibitions were convincing me that drinking could be fun sometimes.
I leaned into my dance partner and over his shoulder mouthed the words to the song. I knew Eric could read my lips.
Acting up, drink in my cup, I can care less what you think.
I need no permission. Did I mention? Don't pay him any attention.
Cause you had your turn. And now you're gonna learn, what it really feels like to miss me.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
Don't be mad once you see that he wants it.
If you like it than you should've put a ring on it.
I smiled while watching Eric struggle with his urge to come grab me. Instead he grabbed the closest girl to him. He didn't have to reach far, girls flocked to him when he came in. Some small brunette was grinding herself against his leg. I almost laughed, he wasn't even looking at her. His hands held her hips, but I could tell he was thinking of me.
I turned my head a bit and flicked my dance partners with my ear with my tongue. Eric arched his eyebrow and reached down to grab the girls bottom.
~*~
Sookie (Savage Ft. Soulja Boy "Swing")
The song changed to something with a hard driving bass line. I turned my back to the guy I was dancing with. I almost felt bad I didn't even know his name and I was using him as a foreplay prop. Becuase this is what it was. Foreplay. Eric and I were going to end up having sex tonight. It was just a game to see who would break first.
I was determined not to be the first. But first thing is first.
"What's your name?" I yelled to the guy dancing with me.
"Chris."
"Thanks. I'm Sookie." I turned back around, arching my back against him. At least I knew his name now. I pressed my bottom against him and writhed up and down him. I risked a glance at Eric. His fangs had run down and his eyes were no longer ice blue, they were so dark they were almost black. The little brunette was shaking herself against him. He was barely interacting with her. I could tell I'd win this one.
I bent forward and let Chris run his hands down my sides and grip onto my ass. When he grabbed my ass I jumped a bit and winked at Eric.
Pam had moved into my line of sight, along with Amelia. They were looking back and forth from me to Eric. It was obvious to everyone what was going on. My eyes went back to Eric. I held his gaze before slipping my tongue out to lick my bottom lip. I stood up straighter, still writhing against Chris. I let my hands roam over my hips, then up my stomach. I ran them over the sides of my breasts and then up my neck. I tangled my fingers in my hair and tugged softly. I let out a very soft moan and parted my lips. The thoughts running through my dance partners mind were filthy to say the least. It was only driving me to act a little crazier in my attempt to make Eric squirm.
I guess my soft moans was I writhed and tugged my hair did it. Before the brunette knew what hit her, she was being pushed aside, and Eric was coming for me.
~*~
Eric (Theory of a Deadman "Bad Girlfriend")
I pushed the slutty brunette out of my way. I was standing in front of Sookie before the jerk she was dancing with could blink. He looked terrified and he should be. Sookie had a smile of self-satisfaction written clear across her face. She was smug, and to be truthful, she had every right to be. She broke me, I couldn't stand watching her grind herself on anyone but me.
"Hello Eric." My name sounded so sexy coming from her sweet drunk lips. I could tell she was drunk when I first walked in. She would never behave this way without liquid courage. I didn't even respond, I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to me.
The guy she was with just let her go. Smart move on his part. She wrapped her arms around me and wiggled her hips against me. I was already hard from watching her little show, but now I was about to explode. I started pulling her to the door, Pam tossed me the keys to her SUV as I left.
When I got Sookie out to Pam's SUV I opened the back door and pushed her in. Climbing in behind her. She crawled on my lap and thrust her tongue into my mouth. I pushed her top up over her breasts and started pinching her nipples through the thin piece of fabric stuck to them. She arched her back and screamed out. I was in no mood to be gentle with her. She would never know it, but I hadn't had sex with anyone since Rhodes.
I worked my hands down to her hips and unbuttoned her jeans. I shoved her jeans and thongs down to her ankles. I pushed her off my lap and put her on her knees on the seat. I unzipped my pants, freeing my erection. I kneeled on the seat behind her, and without so much as a word I was buried in her. I knew she was so drunk she wouldn't feel too much pain.
That didn't stop her from screaming out and pounding her fist on the seat.
"Fuck YESSSS" She practically slurred the words. I was starting to like drunk Sookie. The booze was giving her the courage to drop the southern belle act and let herself go crazy. I gripped her hair and started pounding hard into her. She was so tight around me that I knew it had been a long time since anyone else had touched her. I knew the tiger had, I wish I could kill him for that. No, matter, I was fucking her senseless now. Tomorrow we would talk, and she would be mine. I felt her climax approaching. To my surprise she pulled off of me and turned around, pushing me back down onto seat. She kicked off her jeans and panties, then straddled my lap. She slid herself down onto me and started rocking herself against me.
I grabbed her hips and moved her faster on top of me. She reached out and grabbed a handful of my hair. She yanked me to her breast.
"Bite me Eric. Do it now." That was all the invitation I needed. I sunk my fangs into the side of her breasts. That damned fabric was blocking her sweet nipples. She screamed out and bucked harder against me. She came with such force that it spurred my own climax. She rocked against me slowly, I could hear her panting.
~*~
Sookie (back to Taylor Swift's "You're Not Sorry")
Once the high of the orgasm had left me, I came crashing back down to earth. I had just had sex with Eric in the back of Pam's SUV. My eyes went wide. The booze induced haze was lifting and I was regretting my actions. I quickly slid my pants and underwear back on before climbing out of the SUV.
"Eric. I'm sorry. I was, or am, drunk. That was so stupid of me." I turned and ran back into the club. I just wanted to go home. I left Eric standing outside looking after me.
I managed to convince Amelia to take me home. That night I laid on my bed. Crying my eyes out. How could I have been so stupid?
I slipped out of my clothes and showered. When I walked into my bedroom I opened the top drawer of my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt of Eric's that I still had. I slipped it over my head and fell into bed. Crying and utterly ashamed of myself.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I didn't want to need you.
This one-shot is based off of the song "I didn't want to need you" by Heart. It's a great song and so very Sookie/Eric. This is set after Eric regains his memory. This story has absolutely NOTHING to do with A Second Chance. This is just a bit of fun. Also, there is no ESN. Sorry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I kicked the last Fangbanger of the night away from me. Desperate whores, all of them. They weren't good enough for me. No, there was only one woman who was worth my time. Sookie Stackhouse, my bonded.
That infuriating, childish, foolish woman. I gained my memories from the time that I stayed with her. I ask her to talk about it and she tells me to scoot. Scoot! Does she not realize who I am.
Of course she does. She just doesn't care. Why did I love her? Oh yes, I could admit. I love her. But why? Why her? Why now? I've survived the last 1000 years without anyone, why do I need her now?
I need her. I don't want to, not at all. I don't like being dependant on a mere human for my happiness. Yet here I am. I only smile when someone says her name.
I thought once I remembered having her, that I would be rid of my thoughts for her. But the opposite happened. I find myself thinking about her constantly. I can't pry her from my mind.
My chest aches. It is a feeling I have never had before, even in my mortal life. It is pure torment, driven by her feelings. I can feel everything she feels. I know when she loves me, when she hates me, and when she is confused.
Last night she was crying over me. I sat in my office crying like a woman. Fuck. She has me behaving like a love sick boy. Why does she have this power over me?
I don't want to need her, but I do. I need her more than anything. I need her touch. I need her love.
I motion for Pam.
"I'm leaving." Is all I say before leaving Fangtasia. I climb in my corvette and take to the road. Sookie hates the way I speed, but it will get me to her faster tonight. Tonight, we will have our talk. I will tell her I love her. She will be mine, and I will be hers.
I gripped the steering wheel and floored it to Bon Temps.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby, I never gave my heart to anyone, oh no
Used to think that love was a game
I used to make it just for fun
When we spent the night together
Didn't mean it meant that much
Now I just can't live without your touch
I didn't wanna to need you, no
I didn't wanna want you like I do
I didn't mean to fall
Didn't wanna care at all
I didn't wanna need you
Like I need you now
I kicked the last Fangbanger of the night away from me. Desperate whores, all of them. They weren't good enough for me. No, there was only one woman who was worth my time. Sookie Stackhouse, my bonded.
That infuriating, childish, foolish woman. I gained my memories from the time that I stayed with her. I ask her to talk about it and she tells me to scoot. Scoot! Does she not realize who I am.
Of course she does. She just doesn't care. Why did I love her? Oh yes, I could admit. I love her. But why? Why her? Why now? I've survived the last 1000 years without anyone, why do I need her now?
I need her. I don't want to, not at all. I don't like being dependant on a mere human for my happiness. Yet here I am. I only smile when someone says her name.
I thought once I remembered having her, that I would be rid of my thoughts for her. But the opposite happened. I find myself thinking about her constantly. I can't pry her from my mind.
My chest aches. It is a feeling I have never had before, even in my mortal life. It is pure torment, driven by her feelings. I can feel everything she feels. I know when she loves me, when she hates me, and when she is confused.
Last night she was crying over me. I sat in my office crying like a woman. Fuck. She has me behaving like a love sick boy. Why does she have this power over me?
I don't want to need her, but I do. I need her more than anything. I need her touch. I need her love.
I motion for Pam.
"I'm leaving." Is all I say before leaving Fangtasia. I climb in my corvette and take to the road. Sookie hates the way I speed, but it will get me to her faster tonight. Tonight, we will have our talk. I will tell her I love her. She will be mine, and I will be hers.
I gripped the steering wheel and floored it to Bon Temps.
I can't get no sleep
'Coz I keep thinking of you all through the
night, oh yeah
My eyes can't wait to see you again
My arms can't wait to hold you tight oh yeah
And when you're laying here beside me
There is nothing else I need
Never thought that this could ever be
I didn't wanna to need you, oh no
I didn't wanna want you like I do
I didn't mean to fall
Didn't wanna care at all
I didn't wanna need you
Like I need you now
I toss and turn in my sleep. I can feel his cool hands on my stomach, working their way down between my legs.
"Oh Eric." A soft sigh escapes my lips. It may have been as quiet as a whisper, but it jolts me awake. I look around the empty room. Eric wasn't here with me, I was having a sex dream. A very hot sex dream about a very sexy viking vampire.
I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face. I let out a scream. Why, why do I need him? Why do I love him?
He is absolutely infuriating, possessive, and manipulative. I throw the pillow acroos the room. God, the last thing I want is to need him. But I do, oh how I do. I haven't smiled since the last time I saw him. I haven't been truly happy since he held me in his arms. I remembered him sweeping me off my feet after I rescued him, Felipe, and Sam.
I love him. There's nothing else I can do. My heart is gone. I don't want this, I never wanted to be bothered with him. But I love him. I don't know how it will work. But I need to be with him.
I ran down to my living room. I grabbed my keys and my purse. It was still early in the evening. Eric would be at Fangtasia. I would go there, in my pajamas, I didn't care. I needed him. And I needed him to know that.
I got behind the wheel of the car and headed for Fangtasia. I hit the gas and drove like Eric to Shreveport.
"Oh Eric." A soft sigh escapes my lips. It may have been as quiet as a whisper, but it jolts me awake. I look around the empty room. Eric wasn't here with me, I was having a sex dream. A very hot sex dream about a very sexy viking vampire.
I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face. I let out a scream. Why, why do I need him? Why do I love him?
He is absolutely infuriating, possessive, and manipulative. I throw the pillow acroos the room. God, the last thing I want is to need him. But I do, oh how I do. I haven't smiled since the last time I saw him. I haven't been truly happy since he held me in his arms. I remembered him sweeping me off my feet after I rescued him, Felipe, and Sam.
I love him. There's nothing else I can do. My heart is gone. I don't want this, I never wanted to be bothered with him. But I love him. I don't know how it will work. But I need to be with him.
I ran down to my living room. I grabbed my keys and my purse. It was still early in the evening. Eric would be at Fangtasia. I would go there, in my pajamas, I didn't care. I needed him. And I needed him to know that.
I got behind the wheel of the car and headed for Fangtasia. I hit the gas and drove like Eric to Shreveport.
I've always been free
To leave when I wanna leave
But it's not up to me anymore
I didn't wanna need you ...
I didn't wanna to need you, no
I didn't wanna want you like I do
I didn't mean to fall
Didn't wanna care at all
I didn't wanna need you
But I need you now
"Damnit!" I was too angry to care about my language. My car broke down on the way to Shreveport. I was standing in front of it. Kicking the hood with the flip flops I had thrown on in a hurry.
I sat on the hood and started crying. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I looked up to see headlights coming at me. I didn't bother to move. If someone was going to hit me, then they could. I just couldn't handle this anymore. I just wanted to be with Eric. It seemed like fate was determined to keep us apart.
~*~
I was flying like a bat out of hell to Bon Temps. I laughed at the expression. Sookie had taught me that one.
Ahead of me, on the opposite side of the road I saw a blond woman kicking her piece of shit Malibu.
Sookie!
I slowed down and watched her sit on the hood. Cradling her hands in her head and crying. I pulled up in front of her car. She didn't even move.
I stepped out of the car. "Sookie?"
Her head snapped up and I felt a wave of love come across our bond. "Eric?"
"Yes." She didn't say another word to me. She stood up from the hood of car and ran to me. When she had closed the distance between us she tilted her head up to me. My arms automatically went around her waist. Her hands slid around my neck.
"I need you Eric. I didn't want to, but I do. I love you. I love you so much." I pulled one hand off of her waist and cupped her face in my hand.
"I need you Sookie. I didn't want to, but I do. I love you. I love you so much."
"Do you mean it?"
"With all of my being."
She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips against mine. I felt her sigh and relax into our kiss. I tighted my arms around her and lifted her a little so her feet weren't on the ground. I held her close to me.
We may not have wanted to need each other. But we did.
~*~
Eric and I were married the following winter. After that night in between Shreveport and Bon Temps, we were always together. He proposed after a cook-out I had for 4th of July.
We were married in a small private ceremony. It was just us and the officiant. Afterwards Eric took me to Aspen for our honeymoon. Our lives were never the same again.
We may not have wanted to need each other. But we did.
I sat on the hood and started crying. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I looked up to see headlights coming at me. I didn't bother to move. If someone was going to hit me, then they could. I just couldn't handle this anymore. I just wanted to be with Eric. It seemed like fate was determined to keep us apart.
~*~
I was flying like a bat out of hell to Bon Temps. I laughed at the expression. Sookie had taught me that one.
Ahead of me, on the opposite side of the road I saw a blond woman kicking her piece of shit Malibu.
Sookie!
I slowed down and watched her sit on the hood. Cradling her hands in her head and crying. I pulled up in front of her car. She didn't even move.
I stepped out of the car. "Sookie?"
Her head snapped up and I felt a wave of love come across our bond. "Eric?"
"Yes." She didn't say another word to me. She stood up from the hood of car and ran to me. When she had closed the distance between us she tilted her head up to me. My arms automatically went around her waist. Her hands slid around my neck.
"I need you Eric. I didn't want to, but I do. I love you. I love you so much." I pulled one hand off of her waist and cupped her face in my hand.
"I need you Sookie. I didn't want to, but I do. I love you. I love you so much."
"Do you mean it?"
"With all of my being."
She stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips against mine. I felt her sigh and relax into our kiss. I tighted my arms around her and lifted her a little so her feet weren't on the ground. I held her close to me.
We may not have wanted to need each other. But we did.
~*~
Eric and I were married the following winter. After that night in between Shreveport and Bon Temps, we were always together. He proposed after a cook-out I had for 4th of July.
We were married in a small private ceremony. It was just us and the officiant. Afterwards Eric took me to Aspen for our honeymoon. Our lives were never the same again.
We may not have wanted to need each other. But we did.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Poker Face
This smut-fest is set to the music of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". Just play it on a loop, it's worth it. Trust me.
As always, dedicated to Kawai and the smut mutts at the pub.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amelia was behind me, shaking her assets to the beat of the thumping bass. Pam stood in front of me, her hands placed on my hips as we swayed and dipped with the music. Most everyone in the bar was whistling at our display of female independence. However, one person in particular was really enjoying the show. Eric sat on his throne in the middle of the club. He had front row seats to our girls night out.
I had my thumbs hooked in the pockets of Pam's leather pants. Her hands clenched my hips through my leather mini skirt. I had borrowed a pair of Pam's black fuck-me heels. I wore a leather skirt, thigh high black stockings with garters and a tiny red tube top. I went without panties or a bra for the evening. Amelia had expertly curled my hair until it looked like perfectly touseled sex hair.
The plan was for Amelia and Pam to leave together, and for me to take Eric in his office. I could feel Eric's lust through the bond. I bent over a bit, pressing my ass into Amelia's thighs and ran my tongue playfully up Pam's chest.
Eric had been so moody since the take over, this was our best plan to cheer him up. I just had to keep a straight face as I threw every bit of my lady like ideas out the window.
Pam clawed her hand up my thigh and smacked my ass roughly. I pretended to be shocked and stumbled closer to Pam. I wasn't in the least bit shocked. We had practiced this little routine, and Pam requested the DJ play this song.
I had both my arms wrapped around Pam. One of her hands was squeezing my ass and the other was tangled in my hair. I thrust my hips against her and turn to see Erics reaction. His fangs were out and he was spreading his legs a bit. I could tell he was doing it to accommodate his growing erection.
Pam was flicking her tongue against my ear. Amelia wrapped her arms around us and joined the fun. Her hands ran down my sides and around to my stomach. I stared into Eric's eyes and licked my lips, grinding my hips a bit slower against Pam.
I looked away for a split second to see Bill standing a few feet from Eric. He didn't look nearly as happy as Eric did. He looked disgusted. I gave Pam an extra thrust, for Bill's benefit. It's amazing what a few gin & tonics can do to loosen your inhibitions.
Just as I was about to turn and kiss Pam, I felt Eric's cool hands tugging at my hips. He yanked me out from in between Pam and Amelia. I tried to face him, but he pulled my back to him and pulled my hips back, grinding my ass against his erection.
He kept one hand wrapped around me, pressed against my hips. The other worked it's way up my stomach, up my breasts and into my hair. He grabbed a handful and pulled my head back to his face.
"You cocktease. You're going to get fucked tonight, but first, you'll dance for me." I held back the urge to moan. Instead I decided to show him exactly what I could do. I ground my ass into him a little harder and arched my back.
I pulled away and walked around so I was standing behind him. I reached one arm around and clawed at his chest. With the other I mimicked what he did to me. I pulled his hair, hard. When his head was down by mine I whispered in his ear.
"No, you're going to get fucked tonight." I released his hair and pushed his head forward. I went back to clawing at his chest, now using both hands. I slinked my way back in front of him. I kissed his neck roughly then swung my hips as I lowered myself down his body. On the way back up I 'accidently' brushed my hands against his erection.
He growled, I could tell he was struggling to maintain control.
"And baby when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun." I whispered the words along with the music in his ear. I nipped at his earlobe. Thankfully Pam's 5" heels gave me enough boost to be tall enough to reach him.
"Come on, big boy." I grabbed him by the front of his jeans and tugged him off the dance floor, leading him back to his office.
I heard people whistling and clapping, but I was more focused on the horny viking following me down the dark hallway to his office.
When we finally made it to his office I pushed him down onto the chair, pulling my new ipod from my pocket and plugging it into the speakers he already had in his office. I flipped through until I found the song that I danced to in the bar. I started it over again and walked over to him.
I stood in front of him. His head was level with my stomach. I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him to me. His hands yanked my tube top down and freed my breasts.
He worked his hands up to my nipples and started pulling on them while he ran his tongue around my navel. I slid my hands down from his hair and started to yank at my skirt.
"Leave it on, leave it all on." Eric wrapped a hand around my waist and then with his free hand he worked up my skirt and plunged two fingers in me. I screamed out and bent over towards him. My stomach landed on his shoulders.
He let me lay bent over his shoulder as his fingers pounded into me. He turned his head and sucked on my sides. There was nothing gentle about what he was doing. When I was soaking wet, and dripping down his hands, he shoved a third finger inside me.
"Oh FUCK Eric."
"That's it, swear at me. God your so fucking sexy. You cocktease." Eric yanked his fingers out of me and pushed my hips towards his desk. He pushed a bunch of papers out of the way and bent me over the desk. He thrust my skirt up, and grunted in appreciation at my lack of panties. I heard his zipper go down.
In no time at all he was holding his throbbing erection in his hand, guiding it towards my slick opening. He shoved it in with force.
"YESS." I cried out. His hands reached under me. One grabbed my breast and started twisting my nipple. The other made its way between my legs and started stroking my nub.
"Oh fuck yes, God fuck me Eric." I knew my swearing was turning him on. Every time I'd curse he'd grunt. He liked when I talked dirty, and I was going to give it to him.
"Your so fucking big. Oh Eric, your HUGE. Fuck me, YESSS." I screamed and cried as he pounded into me over and over again. Just as I was about to come he leaned over and sunk his fangs into my shoulder. That set my climax off.
"Yes, oh god, I'm coming Eric." I felt my muscles tight around him. Then I felt him pump one last time and come deep inside me.
"Fuck yeah Sookie. Damnit you're fucking tight." Eric swore and cursed, in English and another language. When he was finally done filling me he slowly pulled out and turned me around. He pulled my tube top up to cover my breasts and pulled my skirt down. He bit his finger and rubbed his blood into the puncture marks left by his fangs.
"What was that?"
"Pam said you had been down lately, so I thought I'd cheer you up."
"That was amazing. But you didn't have to do all this. You could have just come see me."
"True, but this was much more fun." I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I've missed you."
"I missed you too. I've had some time to think. Sookie, I love you."
"I love you too. We'll work out the details later. For now, come back and dance with me."
Eric went back out to the bar and the rest of the night was as good as the beginning.
As always, dedicated to Kawai and the smut mutts at the pub.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Amelia was behind me, shaking her assets to the beat of the thumping bass. Pam stood in front of me, her hands placed on my hips as we swayed and dipped with the music. Most everyone in the bar was whistling at our display of female independence. However, one person in particular was really enjoying the show. Eric sat on his throne in the middle of the club. He had front row seats to our girls night out.
I had my thumbs hooked in the pockets of Pam's leather pants. Her hands clenched my hips through my leather mini skirt. I had borrowed a pair of Pam's black fuck-me heels. I wore a leather skirt, thigh high black stockings with garters and a tiny red tube top. I went without panties or a bra for the evening. Amelia had expertly curled my hair until it looked like perfectly touseled sex hair.
The plan was for Amelia and Pam to leave together, and for me to take Eric in his office. I could feel Eric's lust through the bond. I bent over a bit, pressing my ass into Amelia's thighs and ran my tongue playfully up Pam's chest.
Eric had been so moody since the take over, this was our best plan to cheer him up. I just had to keep a straight face as I threw every bit of my lady like ideas out the window.
Pam clawed her hand up my thigh and smacked my ass roughly. I pretended to be shocked and stumbled closer to Pam. I wasn't in the least bit shocked. We had practiced this little routine, and Pam requested the DJ play this song.
I had both my arms wrapped around Pam. One of her hands was squeezing my ass and the other was tangled in my hair. I thrust my hips against her and turn to see Erics reaction. His fangs were out and he was spreading his legs a bit. I could tell he was doing it to accommodate his growing erection.
Pam was flicking her tongue against my ear. Amelia wrapped her arms around us and joined the fun. Her hands ran down my sides and around to my stomach. I stared into Eric's eyes and licked my lips, grinding my hips a bit slower against Pam.
I looked away for a split second to see Bill standing a few feet from Eric. He didn't look nearly as happy as Eric did. He looked disgusted. I gave Pam an extra thrust, for Bill's benefit. It's amazing what a few gin & tonics can do to loosen your inhibitions.
Just as I was about to turn and kiss Pam, I felt Eric's cool hands tugging at my hips. He yanked me out from in between Pam and Amelia. I tried to face him, but he pulled my back to him and pulled my hips back, grinding my ass against his erection.
He kept one hand wrapped around me, pressed against my hips. The other worked it's way up my stomach, up my breasts and into my hair. He grabbed a handful and pulled my head back to his face.
"You cocktease. You're going to get fucked tonight, but first, you'll dance for me." I held back the urge to moan. Instead I decided to show him exactly what I could do. I ground my ass into him a little harder and arched my back.
I pulled away and walked around so I was standing behind him. I reached one arm around and clawed at his chest. With the other I mimicked what he did to me. I pulled his hair, hard. When his head was down by mine I whispered in his ear.
"No, you're going to get fucked tonight." I released his hair and pushed his head forward. I went back to clawing at his chest, now using both hands. I slinked my way back in front of him. I kissed his neck roughly then swung my hips as I lowered myself down his body. On the way back up I 'accidently' brushed my hands against his erection.
He growled, I could tell he was struggling to maintain control.
"And baby when it's love, if it's not rough it isn't fun." I whispered the words along with the music in his ear. I nipped at his earlobe. Thankfully Pam's 5" heels gave me enough boost to be tall enough to reach him.
"Come on, big boy." I grabbed him by the front of his jeans and tugged him off the dance floor, leading him back to his office.
I heard people whistling and clapping, but I was more focused on the horny viking following me down the dark hallway to his office.
When we finally made it to his office I pushed him down onto the chair, pulling my new ipod from my pocket and plugging it into the speakers he already had in his office. I flipped through until I found the song that I danced to in the bar. I started it over again and walked over to him.
I stood in front of him. His head was level with my stomach. I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him to me. His hands yanked my tube top down and freed my breasts.
He worked his hands up to my nipples and started pulling on them while he ran his tongue around my navel. I slid my hands down from his hair and started to yank at my skirt.
"Leave it on, leave it all on." Eric wrapped a hand around my waist and then with his free hand he worked up my skirt and plunged two fingers in me. I screamed out and bent over towards him. My stomach landed on his shoulders.
He let me lay bent over his shoulder as his fingers pounded into me. He turned his head and sucked on my sides. There was nothing gentle about what he was doing. When I was soaking wet, and dripping down his hands, he shoved a third finger inside me.
"Oh FUCK Eric."
"That's it, swear at me. God your so fucking sexy. You cocktease." Eric yanked his fingers out of me and pushed my hips towards his desk. He pushed a bunch of papers out of the way and bent me over the desk. He thrust my skirt up, and grunted in appreciation at my lack of panties. I heard his zipper go down.
In no time at all he was holding his throbbing erection in his hand, guiding it towards my slick opening. He shoved it in with force.
"YESS." I cried out. His hands reached under me. One grabbed my breast and started twisting my nipple. The other made its way between my legs and started stroking my nub.
"Oh fuck yes, God fuck me Eric." I knew my swearing was turning him on. Every time I'd curse he'd grunt. He liked when I talked dirty, and I was going to give it to him.
"Your so fucking big. Oh Eric, your HUGE. Fuck me, YESSS." I screamed and cried as he pounded into me over and over again. Just as I was about to come he leaned over and sunk his fangs into my shoulder. That set my climax off.
"Yes, oh god, I'm coming Eric." I felt my muscles tight around him. Then I felt him pump one last time and come deep inside me.
"Fuck yeah Sookie. Damnit you're fucking tight." Eric swore and cursed, in English and another language. When he was finally done filling me he slowly pulled out and turned me around. He pulled my tube top up to cover my breasts and pulled my skirt down. He bit his finger and rubbed his blood into the puncture marks left by his fangs.
"What was that?"
"Pam said you had been down lately, so I thought I'd cheer you up."
"That was amazing. But you didn't have to do all this. You could have just come see me."
"True, but this was much more fun." I gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "I've missed you."
"I missed you too. I've had some time to think. Sookie, I love you."
"I love you too. We'll work out the details later. For now, come back and dance with me."
Eric went back out to the bar and the rest of the night was as good as the beginning.
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