Life Goes On

Just a little one-shot that I had stuck in my head. I had to get it out before continuing my work on A Second Chance. This one-shot is in no way related to A Second Chance.

If you need inspiration for a sad/beautiful song. Listen to "Life Goes On" by Elisa, or "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stood in the doorway looking out at the porch. The sight was heartwarming, to say the least. Watching him holding our tiny bundle of joy. She looked so small in his arms. He called her our miracle baby. Now he was on our porch, rocking her gently back and forth. I moved to sit next to him, placing one hand on his knee and thinking about to everything that brought us to this place.

2 years ago

"I don't love you." Even though I knew I was lying, I hoped he would believe me. The look on his face was tortured. I avoided looking in his eyes. I felt my heart being torn to pieces as I lied to him. "I can't love you. I just can't. Please leave." He opened his mouth to say something but then took a step backwards towards the door. I watched as he disappeared into the night. I sunk to my knees in my living room. I sobbed into my hands.

I had just turned away the only man I had ever truly loved. I had cared for others, maybe I thought it was love. But with him, it was the real thing. But I couldn't ask him to risk everything to be with me. I knew that his need to protect me would be his downfall. I couldn't watch that happen.

Calming myself, I stood from the floor and headed for the shower. Tomorrow I would try my hardest to forget all this. Tomorrow I would leave Bon Temps for good. All my things were in boxes in the living room. Amelia agreed to stay and rent the house from me until I sorted out my life.

As I stood under the water of the shower I cried. I cried for myself, for Bill, for Eric, for Alcide, for Sam, and for Quinn. I cried for every man who had ever loved me. I cried for myself, so many loved me, but I couldn't love any of them back.

I'm not sure how long I stood under the water, but by the time I moved, it was cold. I dried myself off, slid on my pajamas and dragged myself to my bedroom. I huddled under my covers for the last time and cried myself to sleep.

1 year & 6 months ago

The past 6 months had dragged by. I spent every day working at a small bar in upstate New York. Amelia had a friend there who rented me her apartment and set me up with a job. Not a day went by that I didn't think about him. Walking around with the sadness in my heart weighed me down.

I tried dating, but no one could make me as happy as he had. It took me months to realize, that I wanted to love him. I wanted him to love me. I wanted to be with him, always. It took me weeks to get up the courage to return to Bon Temps.

I called Amelia to let her know I was coming home. She told me that he had came to the door every night for 5 months. Every night he would sit outside and wait for me to come home. Then one night he stopped coming. My heart hurt when I thought of what could make him stop. Maybe he moved on and no longer loved me. Maybe I should just stay in New York.

Amelia convinced me to come home, even just as a visit. I packed all of my things and returned to Bon Temps the following week.

The second I stepped off the plane Amelia was there. She drove me back home. I took my things inside then went out to my Malibu. Amelia had been taking her for a drive here and there so she didn't sit idle for 6 months. I slid my keys in the ignition and started the car. I pulled out of my driveway, I knew where I was needed.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I got to my destination. He had a beautiful woman pinned to the wall. His lips were pressed to hers like they had once pressed against mine. I choked back a sob and turned to run. He heard me. He called out to me, but I couldn't turn around. I told him I didn't love him. And he had moved on.

"Sookie." I heard him yell out to me again. I pull my car door open and tried to start my car. It sputtered and refused to turn over. I banged on the steering wheel and cried. Just as I was calling Amelia, my car door opened.

"I will take you home." Was all he said to me. Seeing as how Amelia wasn't answering her phone, I had no choice but to take his offer. I stepped out of my car and followed him to his. He looked to the woman he had been kissing and nodded to her. It was a promise, he'd see her later. I felt my heart breaking even worse than it already was.

The ride to my house was silent. When we pulled up in front of my house I stepped out of the car and head for my front door. When I had one hand on the knob, I turned to face him. He was still standing by his car, watching me.

"I came to tell you that I love you. I lied 6 months ago. I do love you." Tears rolled down my face. He looked up at me with anguish.

"But I don't love you anymore." He climbed back in his car and drove off. When he was out of sight I crumpled to the ground outside. Amelia quickly opened the door and pulled me to my feet. That night Amelia laid in bed with me as I sobbed so hard my chest hurt. She hugged me tight and let me cry.

The weeks flew by. I tried calling him, but he would never answer. Finally I decided to go back to New York. Louisiana held nothing for me now. My car had been fixed and now I packed everything I owned and crammed as many boxes as I could into it. The rest would be shipped to me. I found a nice apartment upstate and was able to get my waitress job back.

It was late as I packed my very last box into the car. Amelia had said goodbye earlier in the day. She didn't want to watch me leave for the last time. I locked the door and slid the key under the doormat. I wouldn't need it anymore. Even though the house was still technically mine, I would never live here again.

I stood with my hand on my car, allowing myself to cry a few more tears for my lost love. I had been a fool to lie to him all those months ago. I held my other hand to my chest. I could feel pain lancing through my heart. I was really giving up. This was it. I was finally acknowledging that he would never be mine. Now I knew how he had felt the night I told him I didn't love him.

Somehow I found the strength to open the car door and start my car. The radio blared a sad song. How appropriate.

I cried as the words filled my mind. I laid my head on the steering wheel and let out a heart-retching sob. Finally I found the strength to sit up. I was leaving. I wouldn't torture myself anymore. Just as I opened my eyes I saw him standing there. His body glowing in the reflection of my headlights. I turned off the car and opened the door, slowly climbing out and staring at him.

"I lied." Was all he said to me. My hands were shaking. I just needed to leave. If he wasn't going to love me, I couldn't be near him. Not this close, I just couldn't. But I was frozen in my place as walked over to me. He took me by the shoulders and stared down into my eyes.

"Sookie, I do love you. I lied. I didn't like the way I felt when you told me you didn't love me."

"But I do, I do love you." I looked up at him, pleading for him to believe me.

"I know." He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. I laid my head against his chest and held him tight. I didn't think I'd ever be back in his arms.

"I love you so much." I whispered into his chest.

"I love you too." He whispered just as softly.


1 year 2 months ago

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The preacher spoke these words and before he even told us we could kiss, I had my arms around my husband. I could hear our friends laugh at my eagerness.

Our reception went off without a hitch. Even Niall managed to show up. He came to greet me and my husband. He placed one hand on each of us and whispered in another language. A soft glow encompassed both of us before fading. Naill stepped back and smiled at me.

"My child. I have given you a gift." He leaned forward and softly planted a kiss on my forehead. My husband and I looked at each other. Niall just disappeared, leaving us staring.

The rest of the reception went by quickly. By the time it was over, I was ready to go on our honeymoon. He swept me off my feet and carried me to the limo.

Our honeymoon in Italy was life changing. The night we consummated our marriage, we also conceived our daughter.

5 months ago

"You have to push Sookie." I looked up at my husband. Tears were streaked down my face. Dr. Ludwig was between my legs. Urging me to push. She swore I was almost there. I cried out and gripped his hand tighter as I gave one final push. As soon as I pushed I heard a soft cry. My chest started heaving. That was my little girl. My little Lilly.

When I looked up he was holding her, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. Dr. Ludwig had cleaned her up fast and pronounced her a healthy little girl. He sat down next to me, settling Lilly on my lap.

"She needs to be fed." I felt him nudge her towards me.

"Sookie...Sookie." Another nudge.

Present

Suddenly I snapped back to the present. I looked down at my beautiful 5 month old daughter.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking." I took her from him and gently slid my breast from my shirt, holding her close so she could latch on. Once she was feeding I relaxed and leaned into him.

"About what?"

"What brought us here. Everything that happened."

"It was a long road."

"Yes it was." I yawned and started closing my eyes.

"Let's go inside and get to bed. It's almost dawn anyway." I stood and walked Lilly to her nursery. When she was finished feeding I laid her in her crib and rubbed her stomach until she fell asleep. I tip-toed out of the room and into our bedroom.

I crawled into bed, still fully clothed and wrapped my arms around my husband. I yawned and felt myself starting to drift off.

"I love you Sookie." He whispered.

"I love you too Eric." I whispered back before falling asleep.